i admit i lack superficial skills. i can't quite force myself to hide my feelings when i see a person. esp one whom i dislike.

i think it was quite obvious, despite having tried very hard to fake a plastic smile. but who cares?

i feel like slapping my mouth for "speaking" those words.
i feel like slapping my brain for not thinking of better alternative phrasing.
i feel like slapping my hands for having fingers that type those wrong words sent by the brain.
i feel like slapping my heart for trusting the wrong person.

2 things i've wanted to mention since long time ago, but i was just too lazy to blog abt it.

over the hols, i went to the airport many times to meet my sis. standing at the arrival hall, i see happie pple hugging one another, laughing, welcoming their loved ones back. thou i was standing some distance away, i could feel their joy and happiness. i was reminded of how me and my mum felt when i came back from INSTEP months ago. its always nice to go home. and i've never appreciated being at home so much, before i went away. not going to US is not a disappointment. i mean it is a disappointment, but this kinda thing, u gain some, u lose some. its not a win-win kinda thing. so its reallie ok.

and i can't believe just how lazy i am. yes, so i like to be at home. and do nth, absolutely nth. i would rather go home at 9.30am than to stay in school to read up on fyp stuff, or even to work at the EEE office. I just wanna go home, even if there's nth for me to do at home.

i hate responsibilities. i would love to be the chairman of XXX, the president of YYY and participate in ZZZ..but can i not shoulder the responsibilities that come wif those commitment?

this is a pure case of laziness.

it was supposed to be a very happie day. but it ended on a very sad note when i saw the lect notes of EE4695. i so very regretted choosing the module over EE4001-one which everyone says its easy. why did i believe in my ability in playing with fire, immersing myself in the devil combination of electronics and physics?

to add first before i drop. i don't feel like doing that. the notes are such turn-offs that i don't think i wanna take a 2nd look at them. i choose to believe that anything is better than that.

may there still be slots that i want when i do my add drop. i will bring my laptop to class by all means. even if that makes the face of the Indian professor even blacker.

i dislike school. but i dislike the pple of hall 5 even more. not all of them, but some crazy pple who at the age of 21+++, still cant prioritize their stuff.

these are pple who are so much more than indispensable in life. i don't care if they smile or talk to me, or if they make faces behind my back. they are pple whom I don't share a single bit of fake concern. i still rmb how Charlotte and William attempted to force us in going CLDDS practices unreasonably during our Sec 2 holidays.
those hall pple belong to pure mutated species of Charlotte and William.

a new room, a new beginning. may those mutants leave me alone.

my new year resolution? to escape from the mutants. LOL